Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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