Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I can't turn off my feet"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The feeling are messing with the penis
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
