wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize