It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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