i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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