Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i don't like sucking hair
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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