Have you finally orgasmed yet?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
