Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
