She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
