so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
