just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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