saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize