i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
