i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
