he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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