Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
why is half of my head shaved?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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