Sponge bath it is.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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