I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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