he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
