my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
