"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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