Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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