The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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