I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Sponge bath it is.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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