She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
