I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
