dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
