plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
