Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
