Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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