All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
