Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
