I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
