I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
