Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
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