3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
