he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize