you guys were way drunker than both of me
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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