Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
