You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
