I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
