There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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