Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
