How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize