if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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