Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
