It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
