If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
