The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
No subtext here. People are naked.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
