Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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