i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
