I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
