Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
