Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
