he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
