I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
