It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Enjoy the penises
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize