Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
