I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
