Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
