mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
