yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
