I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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