When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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