For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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