all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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